New Blog!

Hello everyone,

It's been a while since I've blog blogged, not counting using my blog as a portfolio base for my writing projects and accomplishments.

I decided to move older posts to this new blog, Writer in the City, and use https://writewithnofear.blogspot.com as my sole portfolio blog for published things only.

I decided I wanted to get back into personal writing about life, teaching, writing, things I do, and places I go. I don't want to use my portfolio blog for that, so poof! A new blog is born.

I am excited to see what I come up with to share with you all. I know the followers are scarce as of now, but I'll grow because I plan on doing much throughout this spring and summer in and around my community, and I'd like to share it all with you!

The Easter Egg Hunt

Easter makes me feel safe. I have good memories of it from my childhood. I'm struggling to make sense of things right now; trying to understand things. Come to terms with things. When nothing makes sense and things only grow more confusing, I find security in the small amount of Easter decorations I have. Those and the memories. Memories of a different time, a different place. Easter, to me, means innocence. I know the true meaning of Easter. Please don't think I am not acknowledging that, but I don't want to make this a religious post. I'd rather keep it reflective, if that's okay.

I loved when my mother dressed me up in frilly, fancy dresses and shoes that she wouldn't let me put on until the last minute. I was one of those kids who, when I got all ready to go, I'd run out into the yard and hit a mud pile head on. Or I'd try to climb a fence and get a cut and bleed all over the place. That happened, the fence, not the mud, at least once, when I was all dressed up and ready to go, and it was a mess, let me tell you. Mom yelling and wiping me down. My brother laughing from his bedroom. Me crying because I was in pain and bled all over a pretty, lacy dress.

Conversations With Stuffed Animals

When I was about four years old, I asked my mother to write our address down.

She wrote it on the back of a plain, white envelope. I then took that envelope into my bedroom, which I had converted into a classroom. I lined up all of my stuff animals around the room, assigned them names, and made name tags for them. I then proceeded to teach each of them how to write our address; copying my mother's handwriting over and over again, until each student had a small piece of paper in front of them with the info.

Of course, I'm sure things were misspelled and not even legible, but the point being, even at age four, I had created a knack for myself. Not only did I personify each stuffed animal, giving them names and voices, I had begun the early stages of learning how to write.

And I was teaching.

My powerful four year old mind had the capability to believe I was teaching something to someone else. It didn't matter that they were just, in essence, stuff animals; stuff animals who couldn't think, feel, or speak (let alone write). I believed that they were real and that they could do anything I taught them.

That was all that mattered.

Spring Cleansing and Ten Steps to Leaving Survival Mode in the Dust

Once again, I'm dusting off the old blog in hopes of using it to revamp and restart my writing career. I've deleted old posts, and renamed and changed the scheme of things around here. It was time. I've linked my Google profile to my LinkedIn profile, where I've added a few projects and updated work experience. I also use Google Docs, where I realized long ago, I added many writing samples (however outdated some of them may now be :(

I've used this blog for various things over the years: ramblings, therapy, poems, challenges. Now let's try using it for "professional" purposes. As you might have been reading this, did your mind create a deep, manly voice when you read over the word"professional?" Mine did. Anyhow, recent events have encouraged me to make an effort to get back into my writing as much as I possibly can, and to try to make a living at it. I've tried this before, and got a decent start, but then I let it get away. Fear stopped me.

However difficult fear is to deal with, if you allow it, it can be a powerful tool to motivate you if you can get past the initial phase of letting it consume you because you don't want to fail stage. But that's the stage I've been stuck in for a while. Time to buck up and be brave; tear down walls I've put up in spite of myself. I stopped blogging for the pure reason that I didn't want to put myself "out there" any more than I had to. But then, what's the point to writing?

Summer Rubble

Per my last blog post, back in March, I have been writing, just not blogging. Time to revisit and pound out some random thoughts.

Life is still tough, and will continue to be for a while, but right now it's more financially tough than emotionally, so perhaps things are shifting? Changing? We'll see. Last August I snagged an adjunct teaching job at a community college, and spent the last year teaching English. I love it. I've been looking for full time teaching jobs, but it appears that college English instructors might be a dime a dozen; competition for full time placement is fierce, and with just a year under my belt, that seems to be not yet enough experience I suppose.